


Two plus one means the third time's the charm

by painting



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Sickfic, Sneezing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 03:58:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8563006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/painting/pseuds/painting
Summary: Keith takes advantage of the intercom system, until he can't anymore.





	

**Author's Note:**

> what's up guys it's me the one trick pony
> 
> this is like, a sneeze fetish fic, lol, so if that's not your jam then don't mind me just kinking away over here

 

 

**1.**

The first time it happened was during a pre-emptive drill meeting, with all five paladins standing in a semicircle around Coran and Allura, who were hovered over a small control panel facing a very large screen.  

When Allura began demonstrating some of the mechanical aspects involved during Voltron’s transformation, Keith slid his thumb and forefinger over the tip of his nose very briefly, like he was trying to brush something away. His expression remained the same for several seconds before his eyebrows furrowed together just slightly.

He took two steps back, spun around, then stumbled forward with a gasp followed by a restrained, explosive “ _NGHchshtt’UH!”_ aimed into his forearm. He started to swivel back to face the team, but then he paused, covered the lower half of his face again, and repeated the process. “ _Hhp’NGSTTue!_ ”

Allura paused her instructional speech long enough for Shiro to say, “Bless you, Keith,” so nonchalantly, casual but not dismissive. Keith, looking uncharacteristically embarrassed as he felt all eyes on him, murmured a quick apology in acknowledgement before the meeting went on.

 

**2.**

When it came to piloting, Keith was a natural, and he picked up on the controls of his lion very quickly. It came in very handy both during battle and in training when he had to communicate with the rest of the team over the radio communicators or whatever – Keith wasn’t exactly sure how they worked, but it was similar to some sort of radio, or something like that.

As far as he knew, there was no capability to mute his teammates, even if they were being distracting; it was simply too much of a liability in case somebody _did_ say something important. However, the communications system did allow Keith to mute _himself_ , which proved especially useful in situations like…

“ _Hh!_ _Huhh’MNPtshh!”_ Aaaand back on again. Just in time to hear Pidge tell him to _look out!_ so Keith could dodge one of the gigantic asteroids being hurled at him from one of the castle simulator’s moving targets. Keith shot at it and watched it explode into dozens of smaller space rock crumbles before he muted his microphone once more. “ _AahtCHTSShyew!_ ”

_“Nice one!”_ he heard Hunk say through the speakers, and self-consciously, Keith first thought that he had meant the sneeze. In the aftermath, a piece of the fragmented asteroid floated past him, and Keith took a deep breath through his mouth and kept flying.

 

**3.**

Geez, and Lance had thought the team bonding exercise with the invisible maze was bad. He’d had no _idea_ that the field version of that very same activity existed and he’d have to spend the better part of his evening listening to Keith’s annoying voice and breathing and overall terrible _Keithness_ while he tried to follow the red paladin’s spoken instructions to set up a trap for potential invaders. He’d give anything to be back in that maze right about now.

“ _Okay, now just drop that... rock... thing,_ ” Keith said, his words coming out crystal clear through the speaker in Lance’s helmet, “ _into that sand cavern a few paces back. Shiro should be waiting there._ ”   

Lance bent down to grab one of the planet’s sacred crystals when he heard a sharp gasp coming from Keith, and he straightened up immediately. “What?” he said urgently. “Did something happen?”

It was dead silent on the other end. Not even the usual faint, gritty radio feedback or hum of the atmosphere around him was coming through.

“Keith?” Lance tried again.

“ _What,_ ” Keith responded, sounding characteristically agitated.

Lance rolled his eyes as he finally picked up the crystal, then he began to head for Shiro at the cavern. “Everything okay?”

_“Everything’s fine,”_ Keith said flatly.

“No, no, no, dude, your mic cut out—”

“ _It’s fine_,” Keith insisted. What was his _problem?_ They could be having some kind of technological malfunction, and didn’t these kinds of drills exist so that they could catch things like this? Whatever, Lance wasn’t about to deal with Keith and his stubbornness. And arrogance. And—

“ _Wrong way. Cavern’s to your left.”_

“Whatever! I knew that!”

“ _Then act like it, genius._ ”

“ _You_ act like it!”

And there was that silence again. Seriously, what was with that? “Keith, do you copy?”

“ _Yes I copy._ ” Okay, he was back on. “ _What are you talking about?_ ”

“We need to get this thing checked. Your equipment keeps going offline.”

“ _My equipment is fine, Lance. Can you pick up the pace?_ ”

“Can you pick up your _attitude?_ ”

“ _You aren’t even supposed to be talking right now. Just hurry up so we can finish._ ”

By the time Shiro finally came into view, Lance had had just about _enough_ of this stupid drill and he was more than ready to get the final step over with. He waved at Shiro and held up the crystal, and then he began walking faster when Shiro grinned and waved back.

“Okay, I’m almost there,” Lance said over the intercom.

“ _Yeah I know. Shiro, are you on?_ ”

“Roger that,” Shiro said, and Lance heard him in person but not through his helmet.

“Woah. Shiro, can you hear me in two places, or just one?” he asked as he finally arrived within feet of Shiro and the sand cavern. “This stuff must be so advanced that it knows when we’re close enough not to need the system. Isn’t that cool?”

“It is pretty neat,” Shiro agreed. He took the crystal from Lance and placed it inside a dent in the cavern. “It’s in,” he said to Keith.

“ _Okay,_ ” Keith replied, and his voice sounded urgent and breathy. Shoot. Maybe the next part was going to be more complicated than Lance thought. “ _Now tw-twist it totheleft—_ ” Again, the sound cut off. Lance blinked and looked at Shiro, whose expression didn’t falter as he followed Keith’s instruction. In just a tick, Keith was back on. “ _A series of rounded glass bulbs should appear above it. Do you see them?_ ”

“No, nothing’s coming up,” Shiro reported.

“ _Try... um._ ” There was a shuffling sound, and the mic cut in and out very briefly. “ _Try twisting it again._ ”

Shiro obeyed, and one by one, the glass orbs appeared above the embedded crystal, making melodic sounds similar to a xylophone as they did so.

“It worked!” Lance cheered. “Good going guys. Great teamwork! We really worked together on this one, didn’t we?” He made to take off his helmet, but Shiro put a hand on his shoulder.

“Not so fast, Lance,” he said. “I think there are still a few more steps left.”

“ _Are they blinking?_ ” Keith asked abruptly.

“No, it’s more like… singing,” Lance described.

“ _Okay,_ ” Keith said. “ _You have to hit them in... hh! ...in a specific order while you m-match their rhythm. Press the..._ ” Silence. Lance crossed his arms, feeling more confused than ever with Shiro patiently waiting beside him. This was so _weird_. Wasn’t he concerned that their communication equipment kept _cutting out?_ What if it did this during battle? Or while they were trying to form Voltron? “ _The middle button first, and then..._ ”Aaaand silence again. “ _And then the one to the right_ —”

“Keith, stop muting your mic,” Shiro interrupted. “It’s too confusing.” His tone wasn’t harsh or particularly authoritative, but even Lance could tell that he meant it as an order instead of a request.

Then, finally, it dawned on Lance. So that’s what was going on. God, how much more could their suits do? Lance didn’t even know they had the ability to mute themselves in the first place. But why would Keith keep—?

“ _Hh’CHTSshuh! Sorry. Okay, so it’s middle, right, right—_ ”

“Seriously?” Lance was the one interrupting this time. “ _That’s_ why you kept cutting out?” Keith was so _weird_. Why was he so self-conscious about something like sneezing? It wasn't like they hadn't all seen him do it before.

“ _It’s distracting. I’m not going to sneeze right into your ear._ ”

“It is _so_ not that big a deal,” Lange argued. “Seriously, you’re always so—”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Shiro cut him off before he could really begin. “Keith, what was the order again? Middle, right…?”

“ _Middle, right, right, left, m-middlerightmid HP’NGKshh!_ ”

“Bless y—,” Lance said, but Shiro shook his head and held up four fingers. Three fingers. Two fingers. One—

“ _HuhNGTChuh!_ ” Whoa. How did he know? “ _Um. Thanks._ ” Keith didn’t actually sound very thankful, but whatever. “ _Shiro, did you get all that? You have to press them all in a single segment._ ”

“Middle, right, right, left…?”

“ _Uhh’NKGCHhyew! Yeah—”_

“Oh my god. Are you _okay?_ ” Lance asked, the question sounding more incredulous than concerned.

“ _I’m fine._ _Just focus on the task,_ ” Keith replied.

“Maybe your nose wouldn’t be giving you so much trouble if you’d just sneeze normally. Stop trying to hold them in,” Lance said.

 He heard Keith sigh on the other end. “ _Middle, right, right. Left. Middle, right, middle._ ” He spoke clearly and carefully, pointedly ignoring Lance’s suggestion.

Shiro punched the orbs along to the rhythm they were putting out, and then the music stopped and they all lit up along with the crystal and sunk into the side of the cavern. A smooth stone soon emerged from the same wall, taking the crystal’s place.

“ _What do you see?_ ” Keith asked. His voice sounded fuzzier than before, like he was starting to get congested.

“There’s a stone on the side of the wall now, nothing else,” Shiro said.

“ _Great. Almost done. Just push on the... on the—huh! HH’KGTCHh!_ ” Well, so much for that. “ _EHGTCHh’yu! ... AETSSCHhyew! God, sorry._ ”

“Bless you. Are you sure you're feeling alright, Keith?” Shiro asked.

“ _I’m okay. Just push upward on the right side of the stone, it should finalize the drill._ ”

Shiro frowned, but he did as Keith instructed. The stone lit up and sunk back into the cavern along with the crystal, and finally, Allura’s voice could be heard over the intercom, instructing Lance and Shiro to clean up and meet everyone back at home base.


End file.
